Adventures of a Black Peen Magnet...

Note to self...next time you go dancing, bring boys.  Big, burly, manly boys to serve as a giant man wall to scare off any losers from believing they had a chance at storming my castle.  A moat of dancing fools doesn't seem to phase them.  It's time to bulk up the exterior defenses.

Spent some QT with two friends who are in essence my sisters.  As my oldest best friend's siblings I've known them since forever and have recently started spending a lot of time with them also.  We had planned a girls night out, since we'd all been jonesin' to go dancing for a few weeks.  So, dancing we went...sans boys.

Now, I've always known black guys somehow have the hots for me.  We (everyone of my friends who knows this phenomenon) have determined its a combination of the yellow fever plus the fact that I gots a badonk.  Yeah, I said it. BA-DONK.  I have always not been a fan of that portion of my body, however, since hubby enjoys that part of me I've come to accept it, work it.   I'm rarely attracted to black guys, and definitely turned off by overly eager gentlemen who think flattery will be the way to my inner sanctum.  To be honest, it scares me.  I switch from grown up Nala, sexy lion huntress, to baby Bambi...and look for every opportunity to make a mad dash for the nearest forest.

After about 3 hours of running around avoiding creepy stalker kind of guys, it was enough. I mean, I can laugh about it now. Hell who am I kidding, it was laughable then. This married old hag isn't so much of a hag apparently.  Even when I'm not making any effort to look "sexy"...For cryin out loud I was wearing pants and a cami.  My companions had their fair share of creepers, but they were also in dresses and have more curves than this little ol' B-cup.  Yeah, you heard me Steph and Jen...boobs and badonk. I have no boobs compared to them.  Yet it seemed like they kept having to pull me away from yet another guy who thought he could creepily dance with a complete stranger.

I hardly counted them all, especially the uber creeps who just stood there staring at us dancing.  But by my count, the ones that were ballsy enough to attempt to pull one of us away...was 10.  That's abnormally high, especially for me.  I could say I'm used to it, but however flattering it is, one never gets used to it. 

Lets count em off...(at least, the really creepy ones)

#1: WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. Literally followed us around waiting 'til I wasn't paying attention then would grab me by the waist...  He tried to hold me back once when I was trying to get away.  Luckily after a while he stopped, but if he hadn't I think I would have gone psycho on him....Or, since I adamantly avoid confrontations, told a bouncer.

#3: Really, REALLY wanted me to whip my hair around.  "Please, just do it once..please?" So I did it...then made him go away.  I whip my hair back and forth...

#4: KISSED my freakin hand. 

#8: Upon discovering I was married, it still didn't detour him from wanting to hold my hand and saying "Girl, why you married? I would marry you...I would marry you. You're so beautiful"....Bahahahahaha. Wow.

#9: Not a black guy. Short, fat, sweaty, old, nasty, creepy....dude. Ugh.

#8 came back to dance, I put up with it just so other guys would stop for a while. #4 came back to dance with Steph and rubbed his FACE on her.  O_o good god man.

Then there's the guys that didn't dance...

The polish guy outside who Jen tried to get to buy us drinks for my birthday.  He wasn't so bad to talk to but he did creepily ask to take a picture.  Yikes. 

In the middle of the dance floor, I got pulled aside and introduced to 2 guys who "liked my energy".... ::tip toes away::

Not so strangely, part of me actually enjoyed the attention.  Who wouldn't want to feel like they're sexy even though they're soaking in their own sweat in a plain black tank top? 


Yep.  Awesome night.