Common sense tells you there's a difference between a need and a want. But there are many out there who just can't distinguish between the two. And sometimes even those of us who normally can, find ourselves wondering what the difference is. Sometimes we want something so badly we feel like we need it. Sometimes we try to justify that desire by saying we need it. It's an addiction. We fight to our very core by persuading ourselves that it's suppose to be a certain way. Yet somewhere deep down most of us realize that it's not actually true. So what happens when the line gets blurred and you find yourself stuck wondering what it is you really need versus what it is you're trying to convince yourself you need? What happens if you're wondering if what you need ends up turning out to be what you want? How do you separate the two?

Over thinking some things. Clearly not thinking enough about others. But I can't help what goes on in the internal dialogue...I can't make myself care. Or can I?

11.11.11

...you've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya...punk?!


Be careful what you wish for...

Money comes with hidden strings
Best prepare yourself for such things
Luck and Love are usually on the list
But they can turn and wicked twist
The Past sounds easy to wish for
But that path was set long before
Fame and Fortune you may desire
Though these are things of which you may tire

A simple wish for the gods today

Piece of mind is my wish what do you say?

 

 

 

 

TGIF. seriously. my head has been spinning all week :(

breathe, just breathe...

private thoughts of private flings
grieve the loss of private things
all alone with no one to turn to
fast forward through time to rise anew

You know you're messed up when your therapist feels the need to bust out the "Are you having scary thoughts about hurting yourself?"  I mean, I know that's a standard question to ask of anyone sitting in that room who clearly isn't in the right state of mind.  But wow...  No, I'm not contemplating on offing myself lady. Trust me. I value life far too much for that. No...I just want to go off the grid. Disappear.  Thankfully it's hibernation season, and I have an excuse for uncharacteristic grumpiness. 

Unfortunately, I'm going to insist on torturing myself with unrealistically romantic girly movies. The best line I can think of is "breathe, just breathe" a la Danielle (Ever After). So, that's all I'll be doing for a while. And indulging in massive quantities of ice cream and chocolate.

Going MIA. </3

:'(

holding on to the memories
etched in the sand
they could be washed away
by a wave or by my hand
but for now i'll treasure them
for now i'll build a moat
keeping the waves at bay
and holding my heart afloat
they're all there
the good and the bad
and for the first time
i treasure the happy and the sad
i'm dying here all alone
keeping you far from me
but its for the best
to just let you be
for now i hold the memory
of your eyes your hands your lips
for now i feel the ghosts
of your touches and your kiss
i'm sorry i had to break my promise
i'm sorry i had to let you go
i'm sorry i had to walk away
i'm sorry i had to hurt you so

what you don't say

don't you know it hurts me
when i read between the lines
and slowly i come to see
what i never hoped to find
don't you know i sit here in tears
when i think about the end
knowing that all my fears
are just coming 'round the bend
that i just torture myself
imagining what you think
you put me on the shelf
and i teeter on the brink
don't you know you can say
the most hurtful things
and i go out of my way
to clip my own wings
and keep me from the sky
don't you know that's what i want
to spread my arms and fly
but all i do is preen and flaunt
to keep you satisfied
i sit and look pretty
i don't know if you've tried
though it is a pity
i need to let you go
i need to let you grow
you don't know what you need
and i only keep you here
to fill my own greed
to soothe my own fear
but it still hurts me that way
to realize what you don't
the things you don't say
what you do and what you won't