i need a vacation

sunday night i had a dream that i was at work and got swamped with a zillion things that needed to get done by friday.  turns out that was an omen...and a bad one.  someone save me and take me here:

please and thank you.

Claimed like a vampire. **TMI warning**

If you don't wanna know, stop reading now...

I warned you...

Don't blame me if you can't get back the next 2 minutes of your life.

Still here? Ok, well I gave you a chance.

Last night my husband gave me a hickey. Yup, hadn't had one of those in at least 3 years and now I'm forced into a turtleneck, putting concealer and foundation on a spot that normally doesn't get that kind of treatment.  At least, since it's rather cool out, it's not totally obvious what I'm doing, right?

Did I notice at the time of hickey production? Of course not.  We were deep in the throes of passion. There was only one thing he did that my brain went..."wait, is that...??"  before getting lost in the pleasure of it.  No need to mention it here, however.

Anyways, back to the hickey.  Like I said, I hadn't seen one of these on my neck in years so it took me a second to digest what I was seeing in the mirror as I brushed my teeth this morning.  That, coupled with 6 am drowsiness, that second was a very very slow second.

Here's how it went:
...toothbrush at 45 scrub soft..back of mouth...front teeth... hm what is that (looking at my neck in the mirror...and yes I do narrate how to brush my teeth in the morning).  its all red..wait...no it can't be. *eyes widening*  i told him no hickeys.  no. *mental gasp* it is!!
..spits..

Me: Babe!!!
Hubby (still sleeping in bed): whhhaat?
Me:  You gave me a hickey!!!
Hubby:  laughs oops sorry. wear a turtle neck (rolls back over and starts snoring)
Me: Ugh...brush tongue..can't believe he gave me a hickey...spit. rinse. buh..this better be gone before tomorrow or i'll never hear the end of it...

I know, what a lame conversation. But that's kinda all that needed to be said at the time. 

Literally, hadn't gotten one of these since we were in school.  The first time he did it I didn't even know. My friend in the dorm was like "Oh my God! It's the size of Texas!!"  Petrified, I ran to my room to look in the mirror. I still remember it too. And it was like the size of Texas but it looked more like Alaska.

So like a schoolgirl, I have been claimed Dracula-style once again. Thanks hubs. I love you too.

**Take me to Pleasuretown!**

boredom strikes

See more funny videos and TBT at Todays Big Thing.

I am literally...laughing my ass off. 

Doom on you..doom on you..

You ever wake up with the feeling that something is going to go terribly, terribly wrong that day?  No? Just me then?  OK, well that's how I feel today.  Maybe I had an ominous dream last night and it's left its imprint on my psyche.  I wish I could remember what I dreamt, then maybe I'd be able to make sense of it.  It sounds so cliche however, it is literally like a bad taste that won't go away.  It's right there, ready to implode.  I really feel like there's some impending doom in the near future.  NOT. a good feeling.

Waiting, wishing this day would pass quickly...

...I'm a beast, I'm an animal...

Mission: To lose poundage. (and to beat a friend in a weight losing contest...you're going down Boelter)
Plan of action:  Work out at lunch every other day or so and/or work out at home.  Plus, eating less too. 
Starting weight: 166 lbs. I hadn't weighed myself since January and it was a nice surprise last week to find that I'd already lost almost 10 lbs since the holiday binge.  Not by working out, but rather by eating better.  Works for me. 
Goal weight: 155 lbs or less.

Advantage: I get to lose 5 lbs less than my friend.
Disadvantage: He's a dude. It's so easy for guys to lose weight and so not easy for me.  Hubby lost 20 lbs last year easy.  I gained 5. But that's because of disadvantage #2.  I live to eat.  (We're going for cheesecake at the mall later...)

I picked up weights yesterday...I'm not going to say the size because it's rather embarrassing.  Ok, fine, they were 3 lb weights.  Way to make me feel weak.  These flabby arms can't even pop the ice cube tray.  Not surprisingly, my arms are kind of sore.  But I'll never admit it out loud because then I'd have to admit out loud how I used the lightest free weights in the gym.  Wow. I'm so weak.

The funny thing is, I don't really care about losing weight.  In the long run though, it'll be to my advantage to get in some kind of shape.  Especially considering just yesterday I signed up for a charity event, Bike MS: Tour de Farms. It's a 2 day bike ride through farmlands in IL at the end of June to raise money for MS.  Day one I chose to do the shortest distance, 35 miles.  Considering the longest I'd ever ridden a bike previously in my entire life is probably about 5-6 miles, I need to start training like last year.  Day 2 will be worse since Steph decided we should go for 50 miles.  I am so dead, but we'll give it a shot.  Plus it'll get me to actually have to work out/train.  Step One: Get a Bike.  The husband, who is a biker (roadcross bike not motorcycle), already has an idea of what bike I should get. 

I have 2 months to get in shape.  Perhaps it is time to bust out Insanity, since it seems an insane and daunting task to whip me into the kind of shape I need to be in for a 50 mile bike ride.  Maybe I am insane...already know I'm an idiot for signing up for this.

PS. If you're reading this, I'd much appreciate any donations for the Bike MS event.  **CLICK HERE** for my fundraising page. Help support me and motivate me to train for this event!  Thanks and much love!

I can cry if I want to dammit.

Another day, another year, another number.  I only feel old when thinking about the younger family members, like my cousins who are seniors in high school...I think, wait, they're going to college in the fall?! Yikes.  I only feel old thinking how I'm now only 3 years away from 30.  Not that 30 is old.  Nope.  Because once I start thinking 30 is old, well...its all downhill from there.  It just, feels old when you think about it.  But it's all relative.  A 30 year old house is not old, a 30 year old car however...

Can I just pretend that it's my 25th birthday again? I seem to have stopped keeping track since then. I have to stop and think about it when someone asks me how old I am now.  Then comes the snarky "What, you forgot how old you are? Man you're getting old..."  To which I say, STFU... The point is I feel no older than 25, and frankly I hope that feeling lasts for many more years.  With any luck my aging process will be similar to this....

Bahahaha. 

I'm not old...I'm not old...

my writing muse turned into a rapper...

my creativity tends to ebb and flow, like the brain just decides to go into hyperdrive and spit out poems and drawings.  my muse is a wistful creature that when bored, likes to poke my brain to see what comes out...

don't lie to me

don't lie to me, don't lie to me

such a dirty lie, why can't you see

you're supposed to be, my best friend

yet here we are, standing end to end

we've had our ups ,and now were down

you made me smile, now you make me frown

what's wrong with you, you're never there

it's almost like, you just don't care

don't lie to me, don't lie to me

such a dirty lie, why can't you see

my heart breaks, just to see your face

to see you high, and out of place

we used to be, such an awesome pair

what's yours was mine, everything we share

best buds for life, swore through and trough

but now i'm me, and now you are you

don't lie to me, don't lie to me

such a dirty lie, why can't you see

i'm falling apart, i need you now

i want you back, doesn't matter how

but you're blind you see, so fucking selfish

doing what you will, to get your every wish

doesn't matter that, i've fallen apart

you don't' know how, to have a heart to heart

don't lie to me don't lie to me

such a dirty lie, why can't you see