despite the fact that it is indeed the most disliked day of the week, i'm feeling amazing. i have back and neck pain but that's not new...and right now i don't even hardly notice it since i'm in that much of a good mood. for too long now i've lamented and mourned over the end of friendships and other relationships. i forgot to be grateful and cherish the friendships and family that have blossomed and strengthened me through these rough times. there's still more rough times to come i'm sure as things get worked out but i know i'll get through it. i know i'm no angel, and no one is perfect obviously. we are who we are, and we make mistakes and learn every day. people come in and out of our lives whether we want them to or not. but thats the beauty of it. you're never in the same spot more than once in your life. you'll never have the same people in your life the same way they are at this moment. and its so completely true how you will discover who really make your life better when you go through hardships. these are the people who will listen and understand...shake their head and sigh when you've done something wrong...instead of judge you, berate you, blame you, because the fact is, they love you and they just want you to be happy. even if they don't understand...even if they'd warned you ahead of time...theres no need for 'i told you so's and 'how could you be so dumb'... chances are you're already doing a fine job of that yourself.
i find myself in a precarious position... how long will this mild sense of euphoria, this zen state, last? will i fall back into a state of mourning? i'm sure i will...but the question is, will i ever be able to stop blaming myself?
for now though, i've not been this happy in a while so i'm going to live in the moment.
i think that life's too short for this, i want back my ignorance and bliss-p!nk
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