Monday, April 30, 2012

broken

every time i pick up the pieces it falls apart again. the glue that i used wasn't strong enough once it all filled up with unsaid words. it cracked and leaked for months but now it's completely shattered.

its my fault. i know it is. but i'm just a humble human. lost and afraid. i'm broken. i wasn't a perfect specimen to begin with but now i'm broken and scarred.  i wear the hurt like a banner around my shoulders and it drags me down.  the support of my so called best friends has failed me. i deserve the disappointment, but not the hate. i dont need to be belittled when i'm already down. and i'm down far enough that i've lashed out. and i'm sorry for lashing out...  no, that's not right. i'm not sorry i lashed out.  i was defending myself from becoming smaller.  that's all right.  i'm sorry i hurt you. there. that's right.  i'm sorry i hurt you. that wasn't fair of me.  human selfishness knows no bounds. my selfishness and "one sided"ness may sicken you... you may think me immature for my reaction... but there's always more to the story. theres more inside you don't understand. and i understand that you don't see it.  and i can deal with that for now. 

the road ahead looks bumpy, but bring it on.

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