..I think I'm ready for something new..

It's just another sunrise on another day.
It's just another rainbow, well they're all the same.
And let me guess, a sunset, followed by the moon.
I think I'm ready for something new.
It's just another love song about another girl.
Just another movie where they save the world.
And every roller coaster does a loop-de-loop.
I guess I'm ready for something new.
I'm not saying life is boring just predictable sometimes
When you know the end of every other line is gonna rhyme.
After every eight you're always gonna find a nine
And February 2nd will be cold outside.
I predict a summer, it isn't very long.
Then before you know it, we're singing Christmas songs.
Then we get another April, May and June.
I think I'm ready for something new.
I'm not saying life is boring 'cause it's beautiful sometimes
Like the feeling when you're falling, it's like walking on the sky.
There will come a morning you won't open up your eyes
But it's what you do until that day arrives.
You wanna touch a mountain or taste the waterfall.
You only have to see one, then you've seen them all.
Gonna bet tomorrow that the sky is blue.
I guess I'm ready
I think I'm ready
I hope I'm ready
For something new.

I think I'm in love with this song. I know he meant it to be about the new adventures ahead with his wife's pregnancy and the baby, but it speaks to me too in other ways. Something New - Tom Fletcher

Uh. SUPER cute video too!! So sweet.

Another one bites the dust

What do you do when you lose your best friend, lose them over and over again? I think I've lost more of my closest friends than I can count. And it makes me afraid to get close to anyone ever again. Just terrified. I keep trying to tell myself that's normal. It's a part of growing up and those people just are there to help you grow and while some will stay in your life, most will not.  Most of mine I can say we just drifted apart. But there are a few that still hurt to think about and every time is think about it, the wound just keeps ripping open.  I know it'll heal. But UGH. I hate this. I want to scream. I hate this!!!  But instead I put on my fake smile and carry on. Instead, I pretend my life is just peachy and I'm happy.  And sometimes I even believe it. Maybe it's even true for a moment. But something is still missing...I guess I'll just hope and wait for that piece to fall into place. And try to feel the light that shines on me every day.

cut off

i wonder how long it will take, for me to get over you
but i had to do it, i had to let go
i'm sorry if you're crying, i'd like to think you are
i'm crying too, maybe more than you
but on the other hand...
there's a part of me that's angry, angry at both of us
i let it go on, just a bit too long
i carried a hope in my heart, and put up blinders too
didn't want to see, or listen to my brain
the words you were saying, the distant look in your eyes
should have known better, left earlier
at least the pain isn't as bad, as bad as it was before
but my heart is still crumbling, falling apart
my solace is in knowing soon it won't hurt anymore
soon the sun will be shining and there is a tomorrow
and stubbornly i tell myself i did the right thing
and cut myself off...