What is truth? What is reality? If you perceive something to be such can it be considered truth? Truth as it is to you? Or does it only mean your lying to yourself?
The brain is a complex organ, our world is as we perceive it to be. But if your world is distorted, how do you know what is real, what is the truth?
Truth is...you don't.
I've been thinking and thinking and thinking, wondering what in heavens sake my truths are. I've come to the conclusion that I have no control over the reality that I find myself in. The reality where I am continually hurtling through this downward spiral, lost and completely alone. I feel like I've lost all control, but I know that's not true. Logically I know I still have complete say in the next turn of events but for some reason I am frozen in place. Wandering endlessly in the arid desert of my thoughts. Thirsting for a way out.
I'm lost in a circle of what if's. I'm clinging to memories and dreams, desperate for a different reality. I realize I have to let go and yet...I can't. I don't want to make myself. I need to move on and yet...I won't. My heart won't let me. The pain I feel is that which I've only caused myself. What I want to be there, isn't. No matter how much I dream of it.
I've managed to convince myself I need to stop torturing myself. That I need to just cut off all ties and leave it all behind me. But for some reason I'm still trying to make excuses because I know how much it hurts. Even if I'm the only one hurting. But I'm hurting myself more by going back and forth...
And that's the truth.
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